If you like your films with a budget over about 12p, stop reading now!

RetarDEAD is a super low budget movie about a young girls dream. A pretty fucked up dream if I may say so! With ‘The Weiner Wagger’, a serial public masturbator on the loose, the police are using all their resources to catch the pervert, leaving the evil Dr. Stein to slip under the radar and get a job teaching at the local special needs school. Dr. Stein starts to conduct experiments on the ‘special’ kids injecting them with a drug that makes them super smart. Unfortunately, the drug has a side effect…it turns the kids into zombies!

After finding The Weiner Wagger, who is bizarrely pretty much forgiven straight away for his crimes, the police realize that something is wrong and go after Dr. Stein, in a quest to stop his evil experiments.

RetarDEAD is completely over the top with zero regard for morals and will likely offend anyone with any social values. If you like to have a moral to a story, there isn’t one. It’s everything that makes low budget movies great. Buckets of blood, gore, silliness, goofy comedy and some great one-liners are all in there. The two main cops: Deputy Dan and Deputy Rick are fantastic. They’re the shittiest cops I think I’ve ever seen portrayed in a film. They have some great exchanges that had me laughing my arse off.

I though RetarDEAD was absolutely fantastic. A super low budget film with great characters and all the elements I look for in a movie. There are also a great set of fake adverts at the beginning of the movie, very tongue in cheek and very funny!

I was a bit confused at first as to why there is a shit monster at the beginning of the film, which is again referenced later on, but has nothing to do with the movie. What did surprise me after a bit of Internet research is that it is actually a sequel to another low budget flick called ‘Monsturd’ which as I gather is about this shit monster. I will certainly track it down as soon as I can!

One thing that RetarDEAD did teach me is that if I ever find myself in a zombie apocalypse and see a group of sexy lady zombies dancing in perfect synchronicity, I need to run away as fast as fucking possible!

Let me get this straight, Danny Trejo fighting zombies? FUCK YEAH!

Rise of the zombies is a straight to TV zombie flick set in San Francisco.  A group of survivors are holed up on Alcatraz Island with doctors trying to find a cure to the zombie plague.  As the growing horde seeks fresh flesh, the island is attacked and over run in a suitably gory fashion. The survivors leave the island to track down a brilliant scientist who is close to cracking the genetic code. 

 As this is a straight to TV movie, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting too much. I was pleasantly surprised to find a gore soaked movie, starring one of my favorite B movie heroes, Danny Trejo. Rise of the zombies has lots of zombie killing, buckets of blood and oodles of guts and gore, just how I like my films! There are a few slow points in this movie, but they’re offset by the brutality of the action scenes.  Don’t get me wrong; this is not a Dawn of the Dead quality film, but for a straight to TV movie? It’s pretty good.

 I would suggest that Rise of the zombies is a good filler film. It’s certainly not something I’d plan to watch on a Friday night, but it’s definitely a good no brainer hang over movie. Most of the casts are good, with a few bum notes, but don’t worry too much about that, the killing starts pretty much straight away.

 Would I recommend Rise of the Zombies? There is a real over saturation of zombie movies currently available, but if you’ve seen all of your favorites over and over, it’s worth a peek.